“Mothers” Photo Project – Miriam

When my kids were little, I thought about writing a book called I know Why the 70’s Moms Took Valium. While I didn’t write that book (because I had kids) I still feel like I want to share my misery with others.

Society tells you that being a parent is difficult, they tell you it’s a joy, they tell you it makes life worth living and that the good makes all the negative worth it.

The imperative to have kids is embedded in our media, in language, the traditions spoken about by the elders of our society, and especially in our biology. From a young age, women are given toys that turn motherhood into a game. They are shown movies and are read stories that idealize finding a husband and living “happily ever after”. We are led to believe that our lives are not fulfilled until we have children.

However, society has changed a lot in the past 50 years or so. Today, we move much farther away from our support systems, and are much more isolated than we used to be. Before, people would be able to depend on siblings for childcare, cousins were built in friends for our kids, and we felt much more secure, letting our children run around outside. Now, kids are isolated from one another. They only have their siblings as built-in friends. They say it takes a village, but we no longer live in villages.

Parents of today are exhausted and overwhelmed with the tasks that they have to do on their own. Thankfully, people don’t expect mothers to do quite as much as they used to. Though, for many, work has been added to their plate. In any case, there is still a lot of expectation of what the role of mother is.

Mother means giver of love, nurse, cook, teacher, and so much more. We are encouraged to take time for self-care, but many no longer have the time or means to engage in those activities. We are given advice, such as wake up earlier than the rest of the family to have time for yourself, but we also have to put the kids to bed and then have time with our significant others after that. We are all running on empty. Some people are able to find communities that can help to support them, but that is becoming more and more rare.

When I had just had my second child, I was home and felt so overwhelmed that I called DCF on myself. I am constantly worried that I am traumatizing my children. I feel guilt every time I see them cry, every time I get angry and say something negative or, worse, yell. I feel selfish if I take time to myself which makes self-care less useful.

Recently, when going out, my son asked where I was going. I replied that I was going to see a friend. He then said to me, “Stop having friends.” And yet, when I’m around I can’t get them to talk to me. The highs and lows of my emotions, the constant stress of being ignored, and the other frustrations of parenthood leave me drained, exhausted.

I wonder at times what my life would be like without my children, but I can’t allow the resentments to fester. They are the embodiment of love, utterly exhausted love

17 Replies to ““Mothers” Photo Project – Miriam”

  1. I love the rare honesty of what it is to be a mother so openly portrayed. Beautifully done.

  2. Powerful words, powerful photos. Our world is so unbalanced, so heavy ladden with masculine energy ideologies. It’s time for balance and to bring more feminine energy into our world and into our lives. Thank you for sharing your poignant story and sharing what most think but dare not utter.

  3. Keep up the fantastic work! Kalorifer Sobası odun, kömür, pelet gibi yakıtlarla çalışan ve ısıtma işlevi gören bir soba türüdür. Kalorifer Sobası içindeki yakıtın yanmasıyla oluşan ısıyı doğrudan çevresine yayar ve aynı zamanda suyun ısınmasını sağlar.

  4. Thank you for your sharing. I am worried that I lack creative ideas. It is your article that makes me full of hope. Thank you. But, I have a question, can you help me?

  5. شركة Bwer هي أحد الموردين الرئيسيين لموازين الشاحنات ذات الجسور في العراق، حيث تقدم مجموعة كاملة من الحلول لقياس حمولة المركبات بدقة. وتغطي خدماتها كل جانب من جوانب موازين الشاحنات، من تركيب وصيانة موازين الشاحنات إلى المعايرة والإصلاح. تقدم شركة Bwer موازين شاحنات تجارية وموازين شاحنات صناعية وأنظمة موازين جسور محورية، مصممة لتلبية متطلبات التطبيقات الثقيلة. تتضمن موازين الشاحنات الإلكترونية وموازين الشاحنات الرقمية من شركة Bwer تقنية متقدمة، مما يضمن قياسات دقيقة وموثوقة. تم تصميم موازين الشاحنات الثقيلة الخاصة بهم للبيئات الوعرة، مما يجعلها مناسبة للصناعات مثل الخدمات اللوجستية والزراعة والبناء. سواء كنت تبحث عن موازين شاحنات للبيع أو الإيجار أو التأجير، توفر شركة Bwer خيارات مرنة لتناسب احتياجاتك، بما في ذلك أجزاء موازين الشاحنات والملحقات والبرامج لتحسين الأداء. بصفتها شركة مصنعة موثوقة لموازين الشاحنات، تقدم شركة Bwer خدمات معايرة موازين الشاحنات المعتمدة، مما يضمن الامتثال لمعايير الصناعة. تشمل خدماتها فحص موازين الشاحنات والشهادات وخدمات الإصلاح، مما يدعم موثوقية أنظمة موازين الشاحنات الخاصة بك على المدى الطويل. بفضل فريق من الخبراء، تضمن شركة Bwer تركيب وصيانة موازين الشاحنات بسلاسة، مما يحافظ على سير عملياتك بسلاسة. لمزيد من المعلومات حول أسعار موازين الشاحنات، وتكاليف التركيب، أو لمعرفة المزيد عن مجموعة موازين الشاحنات ذات الجسور وغيرها من المنتجات، تفضل بزيارة موقع شركة Bwer على الإنترنت على bwerpipes.com

  6. Thank you for your sharing. I am worried that I lack creative ideas. It is your article that makes me full of hope. Thank you. But, I have a question, can you help me?

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